Author name: hubs

Casa Bonita

A couple of weeks ago I had the pleasure/displeasure of eating at one of Denver’s – scratch that – the Nation’s landmark restaurants: Casa Bonita.

Casa Bonita opened in 1974. It is over 52,000 square feet with seating for 1,100 guests and took one year to build. Since the Casa Bonita in Tulsa closed in September of 2005 (which I’m incredibly disappointed in never having had the chance to visit), Denver’s Casa Bonita is now one of a kind – with the exception of the soon to be open Casa Viva and The Mayan (which was sued by Casa Bonita). Casa Bonita achieved national recognition recently with it’s appearance on South Park.

I think it’s easily described as the offspring of a broken down Disneyland, less than stellar Taco Bell, long airport security lines, the Las Vegas Strip, Chunky Cheese, and good liquid acid.

Nearly everyone who has lived in Denver, for any amount of time, is going to know what casa Bonita is. And most of those people are going to gag at the mere mention of it’s name. In fact, the reputation of the food at Casa Bonita is so poor it has been deemed “Casa Don’t-eat-a” by many Denverites. Casa Bonita is not for the week of heart or the week of stomach. It is just as plastic as Vegas (maybe more). And the food is some of the worst I’ve ever had. For reals.

The lines to get into the Casa can be horrendous. Go on a weeknight, less screaming children and little-to-no lines. If you decide to make a weekend night out of it you can expect lines up to an hour long to get in. And often a 30 minute line can form just to get the hell out of there. You’ve been warned. Trust me, this is one of the last places on earth you want to feel trapped.

After you have made your order and paid (you didn’t think they’re going let you see what’s on your plate before you paid did you), you are ushered to another cafeteria style line were you get a tray and wait until a young lady asks, “wachoo order?”. Soon your meal comes sliding out of a mysterious hole in the wall were it waits for you under the heating lamps. I love the fact that you never see where or by whom your food is made – it just appears through a hole!

Mystery Slot

I can only harsh on Casa Bonita for so long though. I personally, have spent many a childhood birthday at Casa Bonita. It will forever hold a nostalgic place in my heart, no matter how many times I end up puking in the fountain on the way out.

And so the fun begins. After getting your slop you’ll be lead to your seat. Everyone asks for a seat by the waterfall. Don’t. The smell of chlorine will get your stomach upset before you have a chance to drink your first coronaita. And they won’t seat you there anyway. One of the coolest things about Casa Bonita is all the cool rooms they can seat you in. There are gazebos, waterfall seating, mines, cave rooms, “open air” seating, and the governors mansion.

Miners Booths

This particular time we were seated in the magic room. This room had a cool chandelier and stage complete with red velvet curtain. There are magic shows every hour. The magician seemed like the saddest man on the planet but actually produced quite a few laughs.

Chandalier

In addition to magic shows, Casa Bonita has all kinds of other entertainment including pupppet shows, flame jugglers, a wishing well, a roaming mariachi band (which reportedly can’t play anything other than ‘happy birthday’), Black Barts cave, an arcade filled with 80’s video games and ski-ball, a souvenir store filled with absolute shit – and t-shirts, “authentic” Mexican dancers, a wishing well, piñatas for the kids, and all kinds of other stuff. Casa Bonita is great to go exploring in. Go thru a door your not supposed, search around, there is cool stuff to be found.

The Alley

The Puppet Show Is Closed

But by far the main attraction at Casa Bonita is the thirty-foot waterfall. Everyone seems to fall into the waterfall. If it’s not the regular divers doing flips, it’s Black Bart being shot by the sheriff and falling into the pool, or Chiquita the gorilla running around it escaping her captor and harassing the patrons. It’s the waterfall that makes Casa Bonita really unique. The diver’s at Casa Bonita even have there own blog featuring Chiquita.

Mariachi

Here are some Southpark screen caps and sounds.

Here are Casa Bonita My Space and Friendster accounts.

Go to Tiki Boyds and get a drink called the Casa Bonita. Refreshing!

Her reminiscing about Casa Bonita really hit home with me.

This dude made a video of his Casa Bonita experience.

Jeffery Sward has some great phtography of Casa Bonita.

The death metal band Carrion Crawler once did a short show on the Casa Bonita stage before getting kicked off.

Some more Casa Bonita photos can be found here.

This is a decent post about the Casa.

Casa Bonita at Night :: Denver

Please share you favorite / nostalgic / least favorite stories about the Casa. Or, just comment on how absolutly jealous you are of not being able to go here every weekend!

Artifacts

  • Your home for supersized food from around the world. Some incredible pictures and some gigantic food. I’m hungry.
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  • Shred dude! This guy is for real. This is not a joke. He is actually pretty well known in the shredder world. The second half is funnier than the first so keep watching, if you can.
  • Today, April 8th is the annivesary of the day Kurt Cobain cimmited suicide. In memorandum I present to you April Winchell’s collection of 15 “Smells Like Teen Spirit” covers (and a bunch of other goodies).
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Semi-Satifactory

I am swamped with work. I’m treading water feverishly. However, I’m able to kkep my head above water. It’s hard to do while typeing on a keyboard though so I’ll leave you with a quick list of things I have done recently that have been worthehile. Not including working:

  • Skiing at Winter Park last weekend
  • Drinks at the new Purlple Martini
  • Free drinks at the Front Porch (Wednesday is flip night)
  • Naked Fajitas at Chipolte
  • Delicious Pork Chops for dinner
  • My first BBQ party in ought six
  • Backgammon by candlelight during a power outage

I hope that was at least a semi-satisfying list.

Artifacts

  • The best source on the internet for your wierd and cool Japanese art, stationary, toys, clothing, and knick knacks.
  • A hilarious take on “The Family Circus” cartoons. Beware, It’s very vulgar and minorly offensive, but definately worth a laugh. (NSFW)
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  • LED Throwies are an inexpensive way to add color to any ferromagnetic surface in your neighborhood. A Throwie consists of a lithium battery, a 10mm diffused LED and a rare-earth magnet taped together. Throw it up high and in quantity to impress your friends.
  • Whos is playing in Denver this week? What do they sound like? A great way to discover new bands and then see them live. A concert lovers wet dream.
  • Pre-designed, silk screened, blank CD’s and DVD for all your music and movie needs. A fun way to add a little extra ooomph to your next mix tape.

Artifacts

Artifacts

  • Another restaurant I want to visit – Shopsin’s has moved to 54 Carmine Street in NYC, but they’ve still got that big old menu. If you dare, feast your eyes on this menu tour de force, all 11 pages of it.
  • There are those who believe it to be divinely inspired, but The Brick Testament has been created entirely by The Rev. Brendan Powell Smith (not a real Reverand) who builds stories from the Bible in which all the characters and settings out of LEGO bricks.
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  • Since I am of Clan McCleod, I already have my own colors. But this cool site gives you the chance to design your own Tartan. Once you have made your desing you can download the image or actually have them make something from your design.
  • WeirdMeat.com documents experiences eating strange food, as this dude travels around the world. In the end, what is weird to one, is normal to another. He want to find out why. The site includes articles, travel stories, photos, pictures, etc.
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Artifacts

  • Making the bed is so much more pleasurable when your sheets have been folded properly – and not only do they take up a lot less space, they look great in your linen cupboard too! Follow this easy step-by-step guide on how to fold a fitted sheet.
  • The Zealots of Za are on the quest to sample as many different pizzas in the world as possible and try to separate the good from the bad. For now they may seem limited to the Denver, Colorado area, but when they travel, tasting new pizza is high on the priority list.
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