Bored With Me
Seriously. I’m tired of talking about myself. How are you?
2004 BDA Golf Tournament Rules
Rules to the golf tournament I played in this weekend:
1. Format is 4 man scramble – everyone tees off, picks the best ball, everyone hits from that same spot, continue this until the little white ball is in the little hole on the green. (That’s the flat place with the flag Caesar!) Team Records one score for each hole.
2. Teams will be picked from a blind draw before the round. Yes I’ll preside, and yes a couple pairs will be predetermined because some guys don’t know or trust the rest of you drunks like I do (besides, they helped us out big time by coming in late, the least we can do is let them play with a buddy. If it looks like we were taken and they intentionally brought in a ringer we’ll blanket party them in the parking lot. Or Julio can take on all 4 of them!)
3. Potter will be running the closest to the pin and the longest drive contests as usual. See Phil about getting into them and the specifics. (He’s not so trustworthy so count your cash at the end – he’s been known to tip the cart girls a little heavy after a few.) Hole 8 will be closest to the pin, and hole 16 will be the longest drive (BTW if you wanna compete here I recommend breaking Timmys arm before he gets there).
4. Each player is allowed 1 mulligan for the round; use it wisely. Ah screw it, use it on the closest to the pin or the longest drive like I know you will. “There ain’t no we in team either!”
5. Drink lots of beer and support your local cart girl – the economy needs the boost.
6. Try not to break anything, and if you do – RUN!
7. No carp killing.
8. Trash talking is not only allowed, it’s encouraged.
9. Get the side wagers rolling, it keeps things interesting when you’re 15 down – shot and/or beers whatever happens first.
10. If you don’t hit it past the ladies tee – you know what to do, and I accept no responsibility for indecent exposure tickets – you hit the damn thing.
11. No cheating, foot wedges, throwing the ball, point shaving, etc. Beer drinking is first and foremost, the golf and tourney are just an excuse to do it. Mostly, Have Fun – Golf is FUN God Damnit!!
12. And for those teams that are lucky enough to qualify for the prizes – 1st Place is $40/player, 2nd is $20/player and 3rd is $10/player.
This Is So 14 Months Ago
Some of my favorite Googlisms when searching hubs
hubs is an innovative project
hubs is an enabling technology
hubs is fail or power off
hubs is organised into five departments
hubs is very expensive
hubs is to utilize state
hubs is a powerful tool for eliminating waste and cutting costs
hubs is just a bigger concentrator
hubs is only as fast as the speed of your network cards
hubs is only 5 meters
hubs is the information technology initiative that is transforming the mind
hubs is considered an unpopulated segment
hubs is that they are practically brainless
hubs is not extinct either
hubs is useful
hubs is nominated once a day to transcanada
hubs is hollow
hubs is a variation on the 501 hubs described above
hubs is that
hubs is a very similar process to that of the headset and bottom bracket
hubs is limited to five in order to place a limit on the round
hubs is driven by a number of factors
hubs is completed
hubs is limited to less then 5 meters
hubs is blinking
hubs is that it is hard to evaluate the quality of a suggestion
hubs is on display in the smithsonian institute
hubs is a misunderstanding
hubs is to bring together the best
hubs is a simple and cost
hubs is that low
hubs is easier than programming a vcr
hubs is 52mm
hubs is 500 pcs
hubs is treated as a single manageable entity
hubs is reported to work well; maybe a tad expensive for home use but good if you need lots
hubs is legendary
hubs is designed to accommodate larger
hubs is limited growth potential
hubs is $30 per month for the entire building
hubs is specifically designed
hubs is available for immediate shipment
hubs is another serious issue
hubs is available on our website
hubs is upset at joe for stealing his chick
hubs is crucial in building buzz
hubs is determined by long term reliability and for this we will always recommend shimano freehubs
hubs is by their level of complexity
A Day For Celebration
Today is an important day for me and a small portion of the world’s population. A time to celebrate our handicap and our ability to persevere despite the challenges that are put in front of us on a daily basis. Because of our disability, every day we have to cope with both intrinsic and socio-cultural biases. And although it’s not often discussed, my condition causes a large amount of injuries and occasionally death resulting from our inability to adapt correctly. The British Medical Journal has determined that those suffering our situation are significantly more likely to have premature, unnatural deaths*. People afflicted with my disorder are more likely to develop stuttering problems, dyslexia, and migraine headaches. We also often reach puberty 4 to 5 months later than normal, and have uncommon brain lateralization. Though not fully understood, my disability is thought to be genetic, and is probably passed on only by those with the gene in place. There is currently no known cure or remedy. Those not understanding our affliction often refer to us as awkward, clumsy, maimed or weak. Historically, people with my condition have been branded evil, crooked, and unclean. Things were so bad in the 1600’s we were burnt at the stake. And despite great leaps in the way we are now treated, society still needs to be better educated on what living with this particular condition is like. So today is set aside for to create awareness of our challenges. A chance for us, who are suffering under these conditions, to show our pride in who we are. A day set aside to take time and dispel of the many superstitions and prejudices concerning our condition. A time for us to celebrate the strengths and advantages inherent in our diversity.
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A Recently Found Letter Written Long Ago
To whom it may concern,
In addition to this letter and the claim report, I have included some other useful information. The circumstances of my injury are as follows: While in Australia, on the date of July 17, 1996, I fell down a flight of stairs and fractured my wrist. On July 18, I went to the Cairns Base Hospital and had my injury taken care of and returned on July 25 to get a cast. I was not charged by the hospital for any of these services other than the $8.00 to make copies of the x-rays to bring back to my doctor in the U.S. I arrived back in the United States on August 4. On August 19 I went to Dr. Philip A. Stull to get my cast removed and was charged for his services.
Charges incurred during the injury include $8.00 for the x-ray copies (copy of receipt enclosed), $2.95 for a cast cover in order to shower (copy of receipt enclosed), $25.00 for a non-refundable deposit on a scuba diving trip with Reef Encounters that had to be canceled due to the injury (copy of receipt enclosed), and $125.00 for the cast removal and x-rays (copy of receipt enclosed). The photocopies that I included can be explained as follows:
page 1 – passport, drivers license, and ISIC card
page 2 – Australian visa
page 3 – boarding pass for leaving the U.S.
page 4 – boarding pass for arriving back in the U.S., receipt for x-ray copies, and
receipts for the shower bag.
page 5 – receipt for deposit on diving trip
page 6 – receipt for x-rays and cast removal
page 7 – photocopy of x-ray taken at Cairns Base Hospital
If there is any other information that you require in order to process my claim please let me know.
Thanks,
Hubs
KHUBS Radio And Tompaulin
I like to call them the Belle & Sebastion for the elitist. However, they would definitely frown upon me for this description. In fact, they would probably skip the frowning and go straight for a punch in the throat. I picture them screaming, “Elitist?! Bugger off you twit! We’re the working class of Manchester. Fuck you and your elitism! And you can take your B&S and shove it straight up your arse,” as they attack me. But to me that is what they are. And I like them for it. Again it’s those boy/girl vocals and empathic melancholy that have me hooked. Ultimately, they are both better than Belle & Sebastian and are a far cry from snobby, which, for better or worse, puts them in the perfect position to capture that coveted cat-eye-glassed-hello-kitty-courier-bag demographic.
Once stating, “we’ll never package together our early singles – we’ll never do it,” Jamie Holman (Male vocals) proves that despite having a good voice, his penchant for sticking to his word is not quite as golden. Tompaulin released a compilation of all they’re early singles entitled “Everything Is Beautiful And Nothing Hurt”. But it would simply be too easy to slap this album up on KHUBS Radio, so I have recreated the most of the album with the original singles in the order they were released (songs 1-8). Then I included the entire “My Life At The Movies” single, which is fairly difficult to find in these united states and not included on the compilation album (songs 9-12). And lastly I included a few of my favorites off the full-length debut album “The Town And The City” (songs 13-17). So turn up your speakers, lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and enjoy.
It has been rumored that Tompaulin is supposed to have a new full-length album out later this year on Track & Field Records. All of the music you here on KHUBS may be difficult to purchase in the U.S., you may want to start at one of the links below.
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Embarrassed, Alternatively
I was somehow up and at the Cherry Creek Arts Festival before noon on Monday. It was pretty good. There were a bunch of the same artists that were there two years ago (I didn’t go last year) that I really enjoy (Jamie Perry, John Harris) and a handful of new ones that I really enjoyed (Kathleen Eaton). Gijyun might be interested to know I saw a “performance” by the two-fisted rock-me artist. He “did” Bono. Mostly it made me giggle, stare at my shoes and shake my head, and become embarrassed, alternatively. It was pretty hot there so I didn’t spend as much time looking around as I had previous times. It was a pleasant afternoon.
Sweatpea
Homegrown fresh-from-the-garden peas
My mom has always had a garden. And from that garden, for every summer in my memory has come a bountiful harvest, or at least enough vegetables for a bunch of plentiful salads throughout the summer months. Lettuce (usually a few different types), carrots, green onions, tomatoes (of course), radishes, cucumbers, green beans, and my favorite: garden peas. As a child, I would sit on a towel at the swimming pool or scabby-kneed under the shade of a backyard tree or with my shirt off in the recliner chair and in my lap I an enormous bowl full of peas that I would devour the in an afternoon. Now of course, the peas have to be eaten fresh, uncooked, straight off the vine. Cooked pees are pretty much gross, in fact most cooked vegetables are pretty much gross. To this day, homegrown peas, fresh off the vine, remain one of my most treasured summertime snacks (right up there with frozen grapes). When I lived in Platt Park I grew my own, fairly successful, batch of pole peas. Last night I got myself a big old bag of peas from my moms garden. My bag is much smaller because my brother, Pandy, and I, immediately started gorging on the yield and didn’t stop till we were half way through. We slowed down once we realized that my brother was going to be the winner of the “most peas per pod contest” with a grand nine peas. Not to mention I was hoping this bag would last me through the weekend but I’m beginning to become doubtful.
A Different Kind Of Nightlife
I had a couple of weird dreams last night. The first one involved me driving a car along a road that was so steep that it became inverted. It ended up tipping my car right over, where it dumped into outer space (apparently gravity works until you’re upside down in my dreams). In the other one, I purposefully, pealed one of my fingernails off painlessly (very similar tho the loosing teeth dream I’ve had a couple of times before). Anybody care to try to interpret these?