lists

Closing Signatures To Be Inserted At The End Of Your Love Letters

As a man who signs my letters to my girlfriend with “XOXOXO – hubs”, I found this McSweeney’s article titled “Two Previously Known and 15 Brand-New Closing Signatures, to Be Inserted at the End of Your Love Letters for Valentine’s or Any Other Day.” to be extremely funny.

X = A kiss.
O = A hug.
R = A saucy lick.
T = A meaningful pat on your high, yummy ass, not too hard, not too soft, now you try it on me, perfect, that’ll do just fine.
I = Remember that day at the park? That day when we walked hand-in-hand alongside the reflecting pool and then strolled, ever so casually, over to the cocker spaniel with the very bad breath and that vague, faraway stare that reminded me of the rabid dog I once saw beneath the arts-and-crafts cabin at summer camp? I’m recalling that memory as I write this. You should be, too.

The Death List

The Death List takes a stab (hah!) at determining which celebrities will die during the current year. The 2010 death list contains 50 celebrities, so far two of them have died – J.D. Salinger and Michael Foot. There are some rules to the list:

  • Candidates must be famous in their own right such that their death is expected to be reported by the UK media, however candidates cannot be famous purely for the fact they are likely to die soon.
  • A maximum of 25 candidates on the previous year’s list can reappear on the next year’s list.

It is unclear how the list is ranked but these celebrities round out the top ten:

  1. Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi
  2. Ronnie Biggs
  3. Anna Wing
  4. Zsa Zsa Gabor
  5. Oscar Niemeyer
  6. Michael Foot (Dead)
  7. Chapman Pincher
  8. Eli Wallach
  9. Norman Wisdom
  10. Fidel Castro

The Top 100 Most Annoying Twitter Accounts

It’s difficult to separate the signal from the noise on twitter. Actually, it’s difficult to tell if there is any signal on twitter at all (but that’s a whole other blog post). There are literally hundreds of over-active accounts, mostly bots, that provide little to no value to your average twitter user. Here are a few of the most blatant abusers.

InternetRadio is the most often updated (with nearly 900,000 tweets), non-news related, active account. It’s a bot that simply lists songs being played on shoutcast.com. I’m not sure what use this is to anyone. Ill Street Lounge and Boot Liquor (almost 420,000 updates) do the same thing for soma.fm

Father Time (over 275,000 tweets) is a bot that updates every minute, on the minute, with the time. That would be 720 times a day. How could that really help anyone? But if that’s not enough for you Is It Now… (over 550,000 tweets) does the exact same thing. At least Big Ben is entertaining.

ThinkingStiff (over 430,000 tweets) appears to be an account the owner is using to climb to the number one spot on the Cursebird leaderboard. This is actually a somewhat interesting project but is still a very annoying twitter account.

Twitterholic keeps a continually refreshed list of the 100 most updated (annoying?) accounts in twitter.

Full disclosure: my incredibly annoying twitter account can be found @hubs.

Definitive List Of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Part Two

Greg Rutter has once again created a definitive list of the 99 things you should have already experienced on the internet unless you’re a loser or old or something. I think it’s a little youtube heavy this time around but I was glad to see he took some of my suggestions from last time.

01) Badgers Badgers Badgers
02) Lightning Bolt
03) Play Him Off Keyboard Cat
04) Drinking Out Of Cups
05) Star Wars Trumpet
06) Autotune The News
07) Don Hertzfeldt’s “Rejected”
08) Bear attack local news
09) Snow Driving
10) Blood
11) Texts From Last Night
12) Canceled World Of Warcraft Freakout
13) Jesus Held Hostage
14) Chubby dances to Beyonce Single Ladies
15) Simon’s Cat
16) Maru And The Small Box
17) Maru And The Big Box
18) Crying Sorority Girl
19) Shoes
20) Christian Bale Freak Out
21) Ladder Promo Goes Wrong
22) Home Shopping Ladder Blooper
23) Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video
24) Tom Cruise Scientology Video
25) Reporter And Anchor Fight On Live TV
26) Apache
27) Seven Legged Spider
28) Brokeback To The Future
29) Drunk History Vol. 1
30) Otter’s Holding Hands
31) Recordable Cylinder accident
32) End of Ze World
33) What What In The Butt
34) Nintendo 64
35) Mark Gormley’s “Without You”
36) Hamster Mug Shot
37) 7-Year-Old Takes Car On Joyride
38) S*** My Dad Says
39) Alice
40) Ninja Cat Comes Closer While Not Moving!
41) Lip dub of Flag Pole Sitta
42) Show Me Your Genitals
43) Cat On A Roomba
44) Denny Blaze Average Homeboy
45) Aleksey Vayner’s Impossible Is Nothing
46) Kittens Inspired By Kittens
47) Inmates Dancing To Thriller
48) 2 Girls 1 Cup Grandma Reaction Video
49) Two Cats Talking To Each Other
50) LonelyGirl15
51) The Show with Ze Frank
52) Slap Chop Rap
53) F*** My Life
54) Dick In A Box (Uncensored)
55) Jonathan Coulton
56) Red House Furniture
57) Turtle Has Sex With Shoe
58) Bizkit The Sleep Walking Dog
59) Stains The Cupcake Dog
60) Interior Crocodile Alligator
61) Surfer On The News
62) Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle
63) Photobombers
64) Baman Piderman
65) Boxxee< 66) Inspired Bicycles By Danny MacAskill
67) Monkey Waiters
68) Homemade Waterslide
69) Breakdancing Baby
70) Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along
71) Perfect-o-date
72) Dude Perfect (Amazing Basketball Shots)
73) JK Wedding Entrance Dance
74) Yes We Can
75) Her Morning Elegance
76) The Chairperson Falls
77) Noah Takes A Photo Of Himself Every Day For 6 Years
78) The Fall Of Edgar
79) Sweedish TV Host Pukes
80) I Can Break These Cuffs
81) WHOAHHHH!!!
82) Crazy Frog Brothers
83) Spiders On Drugs
84) Peter Pan Guy
85) I Kiss You
86) Big Dog
87) UALUEALUEALEUALE
88) Banana Phone
89) XKCD
90) Wii Fit Hula Girl
91) You Suck At Photoshop
92) Canon Rock
93) One Red Paperclip
94) Million Dollar Homepage
95) Look At This F***ing Hipster
96) A Vodka Movie by Zach Galifianakis, Tim and Eric
97) How To Start A Dance Party
98) Seeing My Dog The Day I Got Back From Afghanistan
99) Hamster On A Piano And Pop Corn

This time around Greg has included some bonus links, not found on the website, for the code nerds:

Fatal Farms Alternate TV Themes
Sepultura – Refuse resist (cover) By Gauchos
Infinite Solutions
Child Molester Weatherman
Powder 2: Powder To The People
What Reporters Do During Commercial Breaks
Fall On Your Sword’s “Back To The Ship”
Kanye West Interrupts Obama’s Speech
Drunkest Guy Goes Back For More Beer
Goat Yelling Like A Man
A woman missed her flight at the boarding gate HKIA
MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU
Winkers
What Reporters Do During Commercial Breaks
Predator Rap
Jabooody’s Mighty Putty Dub
Good Cop, Baby Cop
Ken Lee
Driving on Salvia
Cockroach vs Weatherman
Flirting with Magic
Sorry I Missed Your Party
Jesus Is My Friend
Sliding Doberman
Jozin z Bazin Polskie Napisy
Cake Wrecks
Jean Luc Picard Song

15 Delicious Wine Pairing Suggestions

Wine rules are more like the pirate’s code: more of a set of guidelines.There’s considerable room for experimentation and expression of your own personality in pairing food and wine. The rules for wine pairing have relaxed a bit, but the fact remains that certain flavors of food and wine mix better together than others. Remember, rules are meant to be broken and the best pairings are the ones that bring you joy.

Syrah: Matches with highly spiced dishes
When a meat is heavily seasoned—like Asian-Spiced Pork Shoulder and Cumin-Spiced Burgers—look for a red wine with lots of spicy notes. Syrah from Washington, Cabernet Franc from France and Xinomavro from Greece are all nice choices.

Grüner Veltliner: Pairs with dishes that have lots of fresh herbs
Austrian Grüner Veltliner’s citrus-and-clover scent is lovely when there are lots of fresh herbs in a dish. Other go-to grapes in a similar style include Albariño from Spain and Vermentino from Italy.

Pinot Noir: Is great for dishes with earthy flavors
Recipes made with ingredients like mushrooms and truffles taste great with reds like Pinot Noir and Dolcetto, which are light-bodied but full of savory depth.

Dry Rosé: For rich, cheesy dishes
Some cheeses go better with white wine, some with red; yet almost all pair well with dry rosé, which has the acidity of white wine and the fruit character of red. This makes it the go-to wine when serving a wide range of hors d’oeuvres, from crudités to gougères.

Sauvignon Blanc: Goes with tart dressings and sauces
Tangy foods—like Scallops with Grapefruit-Onion Salad or Sour-Orange Yucatán Chicken—won’t overwhelm zippy wines like Sauvignon Blanc, Vinho Verde from Portugal and Verdejo from Spain. The bright, citrusy acidity acts like a zap of lemon or lime juice to heighten flavors in everything from smoked sablefish to grilled salmon.

Zinfandel: For pâtés, mousses and terrines
If you can use the same adjectives to describe a wine and a dish, the pairing will often work. For instance, the words rustic and rich describe Zinfandel, Italy’s Nero d’Avola and Spain’s Monastrell as well as Creamy Chicken-Liver Mousse.

Pinot Grigio: Pairs with light fish dishes
Light seafood dishes, like Seafood Tostada Bites, seem to take on more flavor when matched with equally delicate white wines, such as Pinot Grigio or Arneis from Italy or Chablis from France.

Malbec: Won’t be overshadowed by sweet-spicy barbecue sauces
Malbec, Shiraz and Côtes-du-Rhône are big and bold enough to drink with foods brushed with heavily spiced barbecue sauces like Chicken Drumsticks with Asian Barbecue Sauce

Chardonnay: For fatty fish or fish in a rich sauce
Silky whites—for instance, Chardonnays from California, Chile or Australia—are delicious with fish like salmon or any kind of seafood in a lush sauce. Try Sizzling Shrimp Scampi or Crisp Salmon with Avocado Salad.

Cabernet Sauvignon: Is fabulous with juicy red meat
California Cabernet, Bordeaux and Bordeaux-style blends are terrific with steaks or chops. The firm tannins, the astringent compounds in these red wines that help give the wine structure, refresh the palate after each bite of meat.

Champagne: Is perfect with anything salty
Most dry sparkling wines, such as brut Champagne and Spanish cava, actually have a faint touch of sweetness. That makes them extra-refreshing when served with salty foods.

Rosé Champagne: Is great with dinner, not just hors d’oeuvres
Rosé sparkling wines, such as rosé Champagne, cava and sparkling wine from California, have the depth of flavor and richness to go with a wide range of main courses.

Off-Dry Riesling: Pairs with sweet & spicy dishes
The slight sweetness of many Rieslings, Gewürztraminers and Vouvrays helps tame the heat of spicy Asian and Indian dishes. In addition, when confronted with dishes like a fiery curried chicken or Thai stir-fry, wines that are low in alcohol keep the oils that make food hot from being overly accentuated.

Old World Wines: Are intrinsically good with Old World dishes
The flavors of foods and wines that have grown up together over the centuries—Tuscan recipes and Tuscan wines, for instance—are almost always a natural fit.

Moscato d’Asti: Loves fruit desserts
Moderately sweet sparkling wines such as Moscato d’Asti, demi-sec Champagne and Asti Spumante help emphasize the fruit in the dessert, rather than the sugar.

This was (mostly) stolen directly from Food & Wine and reprinted here so you don’t have to click 15 times to see it all. If you are looking for more specific pairings check out the table at Gourmet Sleuth.

2009: The Year In Blogging

Despite my lousy blogging habits in 2009 the blog continued to grow and I almost doubled my amount of unique viewers over the year. Below is a graph of my total number of absolute unique readers which totaled 206,881 over the year. The drop in late June was due to a serverside attack.

The top ten referring sites to Artifacting (with search engines removed) during 2009 were:
1. Yahoo Answers
2. Boing Boing
3. Facebook
4. Dethroner
5. Stumbleupon
6. Twitter
7. Reddit
8. Serious Eats
9. ui.
10. Sensible Erection

I found it surprising that there wasn’t a single personal blog on the list this year. Are personal blogs going the way of the ghost?

Below is a chart of referrals to Artifacting throughout 2009:

Below are the top ten most visited posts published in 2009:
1. I’m About To Whip Somebody’s Ass
2. Billy Mays Is A Sad Robot
3. The Coolest, Craziest, Kitty Cat Desktop Wallpaper On The Internet
4. Bell Pepper Teratoma
5. Crying Over Auto Tune Part II
6. I’m Dreaming Of A Chiptune Christmas
7. Fuckin’ Math
8. Another Word For Vagina
9. Definitive List Of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet (+10)

General stats for Artifacting are as follows:
Posts 1,086
Categories 66
Comments 4,290

2009: My Year In Music

According to last.fm these are the bands that I listened to most during 2009. There was only one band that was also on last years list: Ween.

    1. Bishop Allen
    2. Ween (1st last year)
    3. Bright Eyes
    4. Against Me!
    5. The Apples In Stereo
    6. Modest Mouse
    7. Air
    8. The Weakerthans
    9. Mates Of State
    10. Pinback

Below is a wave graph of the top artists that I listened to over the last year (click for a larger image). It’s a great way to visualize the trends in my listening habits throughout the year. And it sure is purty.

Below is a list of my most listened to songs of 2009

    1. Bishop Allen – Little Black Ache full track
    2. Bishop Allen – St. Ivan’s Day School full track
    3. Neutral Milk Hotel – In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
    3. Beastie Boys – Country Mike’s Theme
    4. Bishop Allen – The Rabbit full track
    5. Bishop Allen – Things Are What You Make of Them
    6. The Apples in Stereo – About Your Fame full track
    7. Bishop Allen – Busted Heart full track
    8. The Mountain Goats – No Children
    9. Sia – Breathe Me
    10. The Apples in Stereo – The Silvery Light of a Dream full track

Some of the best live shows I’ve seen this year include:
Tool / Widespread Panic
Jojo’s Mardi Gras Band
Bishop Allen

Last.fm is the service I use to track my listening habits. I’m always trying to discover new music so please go ahead and friend me over at last.fm.

2009: My Year In Cities & Towns

Below is a list of cities and towns I’ve visited in 2009. I spent one or more nights spent in each place. Those cities marked with an * were visited multiple times on non-consecutive days. Travel for me this year was about average. None of my traveling was for work last year, it was all for leisure and fun.

Frisco, CO
Vail, CO
Edwards, CO
Winter Park, CO
Avon, CO*
Saint-Berain-sur-Dheune, France
Paris, France
Brekenridge, CO
Niwot, CO*
Leadville, CO
Jacksonville, FL
Las Vegas, NV
Littleton, CO
Denver, CO*

I’m Dreaming Of A Chiptune Christmas

If you are anything like me (which you aren’t), you easily tire of the same old department store Christmas music. To kick myself out of a Nat King Cole induced coma I decided to put together the most complete collection of all 8-bit Christmas music the internets has to offer. This one goes out to you gamers, nostalgia lovers, gimmick freaks, and good old-fashioned Nat King Cole haters.

8-Bit Christmas – $3 at Bandcamp
The 8 Bits Of Christmas – Free (download)
Holy 8bit Night – 2,000 Yen on Japanese Amazon
8-Bit Jesus – Can be purchased for $9.99 on itunes
8 Bit Collective Advent Calendar 2008 – Free, at the 8bit collective
8 Bit Collective Advent Calendar 2009 – Free, at the 8bit collective.
Merry Pixmas – Free (download)
Kasio Kristmas – $8.99 from Amazon
A C64 Christmas – Free (download)
A Very 8-Bit Christmas – Free (download)
Another Very 8-Bit Christmas – Free (download)
A Very 8-Bit Christmas 3 – Free (download)
A Very 8-Bit Christmas 4 – Free (download)
The 8 Bit Christmas Album – Free (Download)

These may not be a strictly “8-bit” albums but they have enough chiptune on them I thought they were close enough to include:
Christmasasaurus Vol 1 – Free (download)
Christmasasaurus Vol 2 – Free (download)
Christmasasaurus Vol 3 – Free (download)
Christmasasaurus Vol 4 – Free (download).
Christmasasaurus Vol 5 – Free (download)

12/16/09 UPDATE: Her are a few new other compilations I’ve found since originally publishing:
It’s A Chiptune Holiday – $8.99 from 8 Bit Weapon
Happy Holidays from Foundation 9 – Not sure how to get a hold of this one yet.
Holiday EP – By Animal Style, I’m not sure where to find this one either.

12/1/11 UPDATE:More 8bit Xmas tune have been found
XMAS Compilation 2010 – Free (download)
Hard Turron: Xmas 2006 Chiptune Collection – Free (download)
A Very Chiptune Christmas – Available for download on Amazon “>Amazon for $5.99 and iTunes for $9.90
N4V1D4D 2010 – Free (download)

The Hierarchical Structure Of The Monster World

The folks over at Threat Quality Press have put together an entertaining article concerning which classical monster is the biggest badass. It’s an fairly long blog read but I suggest you read the whole thing so you don’t miss out on gems like this:

Monsters are rated according to how dangerous they are against each other, and then according to how dangerous they are to all the other monsters on the list. Only if all other metrics are equal is the relative danger to the average human considered–because, let’s face it, they’re all dangerous to the average human. They are monsters.

But if your really just too lazy to read, (and boo to you if that is the case [and not the scary kind]) here is the list:

    1. Shambling ghoul zombie
    2. Mr. Hyde / Creature from the Black Lagoon
    3. Running angry zombie / Voodoo Zombie
    4. Unclean spirits
    5. Witches (conditional)
    6. Regular vampires
    7. The Mummy
    8. Wolf-man
    9. Frankenstein’s Creature
    10. Dracula
    11. Malphas, a Mighty President of Hell (& al.)
    12. Cthulhu
    13. Nyarlathotep
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