Periodic Table Of Swearing
I would be seriously fucking up if I didn’t mention this Periodic Table Of Swearing. Check it out you twats, it’s funny as shit. Click on the picture for a huge-ass version.
funny
Which Famous Writer Do You Write Like?
I write like
A three year old child on two doses of acid.
A three year old child on two doses of acid.
I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!
Needs More Cowbell
Bruce Dickinson: I’ll be honest.. fellas, it was sounding great. But.. I could’ve used a little more cowbell. So.. let’s take it again.. and, Gene?
Gene Frenkle: Yeah?
Bruce Dickinson: Really explore the studio space this time.
Gene Frenkle: You got it, Bruce.
Closing Signatures To Be Inserted At The End Of Your Love Letters
As a man who signs my letters to my girlfriend with “XOXOXO – hubs”, I found this McSweeney’s article titled “Two Previously Known and 15 Brand-New Closing Signatures, to Be Inserted at the End of Your Love Letters for Valentine’s or Any Other Day.” to be extremely funny.
X = A kiss.
O = A hug.
R = A saucy lick.
T = A meaningful pat on your high, yummy ass, not too hard, not too soft, now you try it on me, perfect, that’ll do just fine.
I = Remember that day at the park? That day when we walked hand-in-hand alongside the reflecting pool and then strolled, ever so casually, over to the cocker spaniel with the very bad breath and that vague, faraway stare that reminded me of the rabid dog I once saw beneath the arts-and-crafts cabin at summer camp? I’m recalling that memory as I write this. You should be, too.
Crying Over Auto Tune
My post about auto tuning Billy Mays commercials is getting a lot of hits from Boing Boing today so I thought I would post this funny clip of a Crying Baby Auto Tune created by Hachi Akarolo.
Billy Mays Is A Sad Robot
There is something about this Kaboom commercial that is filtered through auto-tune that I really enjoy. It was created by CastOutTheSelf, and although it may not be quite as funny as Jabo0ody’s dubs, I like it better.
This Kaboom commercial is apparently run at 140 BPM. I wonder if there have been and studies done to determine the perfect beats per minute for shysters to use for there sing-song pitches? Does the lyrical styling of Billy May’s script help us tune into the commercial?
Fuckin’ Math
If my highschool math text books were more like this I probably would have grasped onto abstract algebra a lot easier – Fuckin’ Concrete Contemporary Abstract Algebra Introduction By First Course Radical Solution Dummies: Dummit, Foote, Hungerford, Shifrin, Gallian, Fraleigh, Beachy, Herstein, Saracino, Artin, Deskins (Paperback), by Nicolas Bourbaki Junior, ISBN 1441451579, 100 pages, published 2009. Here is an excerpt:
For fucking example, the symbols could be fucked as symmetries of a fuck, as the fuck of a switch, as an instruction to a machine fuck, or as a way to fuck a statistical experiment. The fucks could be manipulated using some of the unusual fucks for fuckers. For fucking example, the fucked polynomial 3x²+2x-1 could be fucked to and multiplied by other fucking polynomials without ever having to interpret the fuckbol x as a fucker.
UPDATE: Unfortunately Nicolas Bourbaki Junior’s book has been erased from the Amazon database. It can now be found here or here.
Commentary
This is probably the best review I have read about any of the blog posts I’ve written.
good god… the comment section is like being in the girl’s bathroom in high school :p
i think i lost some brain cells reading that stuff.
It’s funny cause it’s true (and that’s not funny). Thanks raestels.
Om Nom Nom Nom
If you’re not saying Om Nom Nom Nom out loud at the same time as looking at these pictures then you’re doing it wrong.