list

Being Poor

Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs. If you’re ever find yourself at the grocerie complaining because the guy in front of you at the “15 item” cash register line has 17 items, come home and read this so that you can at least be glad you were in line with a 1/2 gallon of milk and a hershey bar.

The Big List

Here’s a list of things, by category, which I would like to try to get accomplished before I die. Henceforth known as The Big List. Of course this list can be adjusted, pruned, expanded and thrown away as I see fit. Life is about crossing old things off and starting new things. I also understand some of these things are not necessarily attainable (see a UFO for instance) but I really, really would like it to happen. In addition, there are a number of things that I want to do in my life or improve upon but have no solid benchmark of completion such as “tell everyone close to me I love them” or “develop my level of spirituality”. You know, crap like that. Maybe they’ll be on another list someday but somehow I doubt it.

CREATIVITY
File a patent for a useful/useless gadget
To be published in some capacity, such as an article in a magazine
Develop my own film
Design and have made my own t-shirt
Create my own font
Brew my own beer
Make a souffle correctly

EVENTS
Run with the bulls in Pamplona
Visit Mexico during day of the dead festival
Visit Rio during Carnival
Attend burning man
Visit New Orleans during Marti Gras
Go to a Slayer concert
Go to a Grateful Dead concert
Celebrate New Years in Times Square

GIVE
Teach someone to read
Give $#,### to charity anonymously
Be an escort at an abortion clinic
Volunteer to a worthy cause for at least six months
Pay for the dinner/lunch ordered by the vehicle behind me in a drive-thru

GROW
Help raise a child
Grow a garden
Plant a tree in a place I’ll always be able to visit

LEARNING
Learn yoga
Learn how to sail
Learn how to ride a horse
Learn to play a musical instrument with some degree of skill
Learn to juggle
Learn to water-ski slalom
Learn to ride a motorcycle
Learn sign language
Learn to shoot a gun
Learn to ride a unicycle
Learn HTML
Learn to surf
Read all the books on this list
Memorize a poem I enjoy and pass it on to someone else
Complete a two or four-year degree
Learn to windsurf
Become a notary public

NAUGHTY
Get high on hash in a cafe in Amsterdam
Taste absinthe
Trip acid
Get drunk on Bourbon Street
Have sex in the ocean
Have sex on a forest floor
Have sex in a public place
Have sex on a train
Have sex on a boat
Have sex on a sailboat
Have sex on the kitchen table or kitchen floor
Have sex in a sleazy hotel
Spend all day in bed with a lover, only leaving it to eat or visit the bathroom
Spend the day at a nude beach
Fire an automatic weapon
Have nude photos taken
Take nude photos
Go skinny-dipping in the ocean
Get thrown out of K-Mart for disreputable behavior
Party down at the Whiskey A-go-go
Stay out all night in Manhattan
Become a member of the Mile High Club

OTHER
Experience zero gravity
Spend time in a sensory deprivation tank
Navigate a corn maze
Navigate a hedge maze
Be on TV
Be in a newspaper
Do something that makes someone say, “You know, I really admire what you did!”
Cook all my meals for a week
Do everything on this foodie list

POSSESIONS & SPOILS
Get comped a room in Las Vegas
Own a home
Be my own boss
Get a pedicure
Get a professional message
Be independently self-supportive
Be mentioned in a newspaper
Eat Peking Duck
Try to eat sea urchin again
Eat truffles (the fungus)
Eat a durian fruit
Get acupuncture
Throw a huge party and invite all my friends and family

RELIGEOUS & SUPERNATURAL
Do a Catholic confession
Attend prayers at a synagogue
Attend A Hare Krishna service
Attend a séance
Get hypnotized
See a UFO
See a ghost
Give a eulogy

SPORTS & EXERCISE
Do 100 consecutive push-ups
Scuba dive
Score above 200 bowling
Score below 100 in golf
Ski a double diamond slope
Helicopter ski
Ski Whistler/Blackcomb
Snowcat ski
Attend the Superbowl, World Series, US Open, Masters, Kentucky Derby, Indianapolis 500, Stanley Cup Finals, or the Olympics
Hike the Colorado Trail
Go white water rafting in class 5 rapids
Earn a belt in a martial art
Swim a mile without stopping
Go deep-sea fishing and catch a fish
Make it onto the jumbotron at a major sporting event
Spend three months getting my body into prime physical shape
Rock climb a route with several pitches
Swing on a trapeze
Swim with dolphins

SEE
See the aurora borealis
See the milky way
See a great white in the wild (while in the water)
See a whale in the wild (while in the water)
See all the movies on this list (being
See a tornado
See a full lunar eclipse
See an active volcano
See Niagara falls

TRANSPORTATION
Fly on the Concord
Go hang-gliding
Go in a hot-air balloon
Ride in a Submarine
Ride on a fan boat
Ride on a hovercraft
Ride in a blimp
Fly in a helicopter
Go on a cruise
Road trip from coast to coast in the U.S.
Drive a vehicle at a speed of at least 145 miles per hour
Go Parasailing
Go paragliding
Go windsurfing
Ride a cable car in SF

TRAVEL
Visit all 50 states
Visit all 7 continents
Straddle the equator
Walk on a glacier
Travel through the top 15 most populated cities in the US
Travel through the top 10 most populated cities in the world
Go to Easter Island
Visit to Stonehenge
Stay a night at the Gramercie Hotel
Go to the Louvre in Paris
Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower
Go to the top of the Statue of Liberty
Go to the top of the Seattle Space Needle
Go to the top of the Empire State Building
Visit a rainforest
Explore the Carlsbad Caverns
Visit the red wood forest in northern California
Stay the night in a lighthouse
Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge

The Twelve Chief Rules In Love

This list was taken from “The Art of Courtly Love” by Andreas Capellanus, a book that has been recently added to my wishlist.

The Twelve Chief Rules in Love:

1. Thou shalt avoid avarice like the deadly pestilence and shalt embrace its opposite.
2. Thou shalt keep thyself chaste for the sake of her whom thou lovest.
3. Thou shalt not knowingly strive to break up a correct love affair that someone else is engaged in.
4. Thou shalt not chose for thy love anyone whom a natural sense of shame forbids thee to marry.
5. Be mindful completely to avoid falsehood.
6. Thou shalt not have many who know of thy love affair.
7. Being obedient in all things to the commands of ladies, thou shalt ever strive to ally thyself to the service of Love.
8. In giving and receiving love’s solaces let modesty be ever-present.
9. Thou shalt speak no evil.
10. Thou shalt not be a revealer of love affairs.
11. Thou shalt be in all things polite and courteous.
12. In practising the solaces of love thou shalt not exceed the desires of thy lover.

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